Don't wish for waxwings when blackbirds will do.

Three words to strike fear into every heart: "Locking wheel nut".
Do you know where the key for yours is?
Having had occasion to take my car to have a wheel replaced I was welcomed in to the reception area by a pleasant, if rather patronising mechanic.
"Why only one wheel to replace?" He asked and so I was moved to explain about bashing the kerb while parking.
Cue a knowing look on his face and slight rolling of eyes.
Having now established our roles - me as dizzy female driver and himself as all-powerful overlord,
he asked me if I knew where the key for the locking wheel nut was. 
He only had to look at my face to know that he was on his own with that one.  He liked that. 
Remarkably (although surely he had done some training), he was indeed able to change my wheel without my assistance.
It was then that he hit me with his second, terrifying, three-word phrase.
"Cheques aren't accepted".

Never-fail Carrot Cake

If you have recently been proved to be an air-head. Baking this cake is the answer.
I'm usually suspicious of cakes that use oil instead of butter but this one is an absolute winner.

175g light muscovado sugar

175g sunflower oil

3 large eggs - beaten
140g finely grated carrot (2 or 3 carrots)
100g raisins
Grated zest of 1 orange
175g self-raising flour
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
2 tsp mixed spice

Heat the oven to 180 centigrade.
In a large bowl, mix the sugar, oil, eggs, grated carrot, raisins and orange zest.
Sift in the flour, bicarb and mixed spice.  Stir until evenly mixed.
Pour into an 18cm square tin, lined with baking paper.
Bake in the centre of the oven for 40 to 50 minutes.

Now, I love the traditional topping of sweetened cream cheese but the kids aren't that keen so this week I made orange icing from the juice of the orange that I zested to go in the cake and some icing sugar.  You won't need all of the juice.
Top tip: make the icing while the cake is baking and set aside.  Any lumps will dissolve and leave you with a totally smooth and glossy topping for your masterpiece.

As the oven was already on, I slipped in some large potatoes for stuffed baked spuds for our tea.  More of the later...

Around the Grounds

I'm a great believer in being satisfied with what you've got.
In other words, the waxwings have not turned up yet. However, I am not down-hearted.
Its been another sunny week (mainly).

Every morning the pair of blackbirds that are roosting in my ivy come to collect the crusts from my kids sandwiches.  They may not be rare but there is a lot to be said for reliability.

Stuffed Baked Potatoes

For every two potatoes, use half an onion, one rasher of bacon and an obscene amount of cheddar and butter.

Scoop out the baked potatoes into a large bowl.

Gently fry the finely chopped onion and bacon in a little oil.  While that softens and then crisps up, grate the cheese and add to the potato.  Season with salt and pepper and mash everything together with a fork.

If you are using cooked potatoes that have cooled, add the butter to the hot bacon and onion so that it melts. Now add to the cheesy potato mixture.

Return to the potato skins, sprinkle with more cheese and put in a moderate oven for about 20 or 30 minutes.

For posh, serve with green salad. Delicious.

This is a super quick meal that could serve two or two hundred.
Top tip: Allow to cool for ten minutes before serving so that scolding cheesy mash does not adhere itself to the roof of your mouth.

Funny of the Week.

The very welcome return of

I'm sorry I haven't a clue.

This is half an hour long but it is radio so you can get on with what you should be doing.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b0174dzy/