Hooray! Get the paddling pool out.

Finally some great weather for us to enjoy.
I met my usual old lady who always tells me that she is too cold and guess what! 
She has been too hot this week.
It seems that I missed her on the day she was at optimum temperature.

With this great new season comes great responsibility. And for me, less time to devote to this blog.
Unfortunately, regular blogging will no longer be possible but if I do anything truely remarkable, I will post it here.

If you find a hole in your week due to this departure, I strongly recommend following
http://thetamshee.blogspot.co.uk/

and also taking a look at BBC Radio 4 comedy on the iplayer.

If you did not see William Shatner presenting Have I got News For You this week; here is a treat.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01j9g15/

May the force be with you

Charging head-long in to May without a single tomato plant.  It's been a very cold and wet start to the year.  I have decided to forget growing greenhouse crops from seed and buy plug plants when the weather finally improves.  Sheer bravery I know. (And laziness).

In tulip news:

things are looking pretty rosey!

Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Finely chop a few sun-dried tomatoes and roasted peppers from jars. 

You know the ones.

Make a cut in the chicken breast and stuff with your filling.

Wrap in bacon and sit in an oven-proof dish.  Make it a nice snug fit.

Smother in your home made tomato sauce or similar.

Cover with foil and roast at 180 degrees for 30 minutes. (Longer if you are using a larger amount of chicken breasts).

Serve with buttery mash and greens.  Totally gorgeous.

Slicing before serving makes it more appealing to kids and also means you can feed three people with every two chickens breasts.



Around the Grounds

There comes a time when daffodils become choked and need to be dug up and divided.  Happily that time has co-incided with my kids becoming capable of doing this for me.  What were the chances?!

These bulbs are being dried in the greenhouse and will be replanted with plenty of space around them in October.  Next spring they will produce more flowers and less leaves.


Hob- top Spring Lamb Steaks



Fry one lamb steak or two chops per person until browned on each side.
Remove from the pan and add a nob of butter and some cornflour.
Whisk in a glass of red wine and lamb stock until your desired thickness is reached.
Add a dessert spoon or so of red currant jelly and a sqeeze of garlic puree.

Now return the lamb to the sauce and simmer gently for about ten minutes, until just cooked.  Remove from the heat to rest for five minutes before eating.







Apologies and AOB

For those of you on a committee, more strength to your elbow. 
Sports clubs, kids groups, community projects and charities would be nothing without you.
If you or someone you know is concidering joining such an association my advice would be to go for it. How bad could it be? 
Get yourself into a position where you can make a real contribution, and lots of biscuits for your town.

Funny of the Week

Some gentle comedy to do your tidying up to.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01h624s/

Salad Daze

There are two sets of starlings nesting in our boxes this year. 
Not quite tawny owls but its a start.

Oh yes.  Our salad days.  Fleeting, precious and easily bruised.
Youthful exuberance and embarrassingly bad judgement. 
I may be a little old to be enjoying my salad days but really, what was to enjoy?
I'm not wilting like a lettuce anymore.  There should be a term for grounded middle-age. 
Something more robust and durable and possibly carbohydrate based.
"I see she is enjoying her dauphinoise days" Nice.

And on the subject of durable salad:




Pasta Salads

When cooking pasta I always and without fail, do too much.
That is why I have been forced in to liking pasta salad.
The key is to use lots of mayonnaise or salad dressing and liven it up with more interesting ingredients.  Here are a few combos to try:


Penne, spring onion, red pepper pesto, torn up olives and mayo.

Elegantly paired with green leaves

Macaroni, sweetcorn, cherry tomatoes,
mixed olives, spring onion,
mayo, pesto and tabasco

Spaghetti, dijon mustard, mayo, balsamic vinegar,
olive oil and chilli flakes.
Chop up the spaghetti as you mix it in.

                               Nice with ham






Now.  Man cannot live on cold pasta alone. Here is something really nice we had this week:


Sweet and Sour Chicken.

2 large chicken breasts
(to serve 4. Prawns and pork also work)
1 red pepper
1 onion
1 stick of celery
1 carrot
1 clove of garlic
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
1 tin of crushed pineapple
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp golden syrup

Cube the chicken and coat lightly with seasoned flour.
Fry until browned then remove from the pan.
Chop the veg to resemble your local takeaway and fry gently for a few minutes until just softened.
Now add the tomatoes, pineapple with its juice, syrup and vinegar.
Bring up to a simmer and then return the chicken.
Don't overcook the chicken.   It will only take ten or fifteen minutes.
You can check by cutting a piece in half.

Serve on boiled rice with a sprinkling of cashew nuts.



Top Tip of the Week:

When you set out to paint a room.  Buy a match pot of the paint too.  Label it with the name of the room and put it away in your cupboard.  This way, when damage occurs to your lovely clean, fresh, haven- you can easily repair your disappointment.  There is no point in saving the remains of the big tin as it will just dry up in the garage.

A really well prepared woman also has polyfiller on hand at all times - failing this, blu tac and tippex.

Funny of the Week

Another Case of Milton Jones

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/rbnmk/

Son of a Quiche...

Less than one hundred days to wait now for the Olympics.

It would be easy to be sarcastic about spending millions on a fortnight of sport but I am choosing to embrace the experience.  Why not celebrate the achievements of our athletes and logistical skills alike. I have even bought a bit of merchandise already, the kids have mascot mugs and Team GB colour hair bands. We are collecting a full set of Olympic 50 pences but currently, only have seven out of twelve.

Obviously, it is convenient that the torch is passing by my very doorstep.  Nice and local. 
I am considering going out to watch in full-body, union jack lycra body stocking.
Here are a few Olympic facts:
   The first games were held in 776BC and consisted of one event - the 100m sprint. All athletes were nude and the whole occasion was considered more of a religious festival.
   Stella the Fella—Poland's Stella Walsh (Stanislawa Walasiewicz)—won the women's 100-metre race at the 1932 Olympics in Los Angeles, becoming the first woman to break the 12-second barrier. When she was killed in 1980 as an innocent victim in a robbery attempt, an autopsy declared her to be a male.
   Every national flag in the world contains at least one colours from the Olympic rings.
(You could probably say the same about caravan upholstery though lets be honest).
   

Bacon and Broccoli Quiche

Get your sandals on and grow a quick beard because today, its quiche.
I don't like quiche much but the problem I have with it is the cheesy egg.
For this recipe, there is no cheese in the egg filling, instead, all the fromage resides in the pastry.
Its just better this way.



For a nine inch flan dish you will need 6oz of pastry.
That's 6oz plain flour
3oz butter
2oz finely grated Parmesan cheese
Cold water to mix.

Rub the butter in to the flour and then stir the cheese through.
Add sufficient cold water to make a soft dough and knead until combined.
Its a good idea to rest the pastry in the fridge for a while before you roll it out.

Roll out the pastry to be a little bigger than the tin as it will shrink in the oven. 
Prick the base with a fork.
To avoid the dreaded soggy bottom, bake before you fill at 180 degrees for about 20 minutes.
Use baking beans, or the cheaper alternative - dried lentils - on a sheet of baking paper.  This will stop the pastry puffing up.  Remove the baking beans about 10 minutes before the time is up to brown the base.

For the filling:

Chop up and fry two gammon steaks, (smoked or not, its up to you), one sliced onion and two rashers of streaky bacon. Cook for 5 minutes or so and then add about half a head of broccoli in small florets. Cook over a low heat for about ten minutes more until the broccoli has softened a little.
Leave to one side to cool.

To assemble the quiche, spread the cooled filling across the base and cover with four whole eggs, beaten with a splash of milk and a little salt and pepper.
Sprinkle with finely chopped spring onion.
Bake at 180 degrees for twenty minutes - until the egg has set right to the centre.
You may now wish to trim the pastry edge before serving.

Funny of the Week

A particularly good episode of The Unbelievable Truth

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01g5zp0/

Happy Easter!

A Great Good Friday to you all.

Make some chocolate buns and hide eggs all over the house.  There is still one in my sock drawer from last year - I may melt that one down for ice-cream sauce now.








Best Beef and Great Gravy.

The ultimate roasting joint is the rib-roast. 
Ask your butcher to bone the joint and then tie the rib back on for roasting.
1.5kg will feed six hungry people.
Total cooking and resting time for medium beef is 1 hour and twenty minutes.
With meat this good, all you need to do is cook it!

Heat the oven to 250 degrees centigrade and sear the meat for 15 minutes.
Then turn the heat down to 190 degrees and cook for a further 15 minutes per half kilo.
Please don't over-cook your lovely beef!
It will then need to rest with a foil lid for at least twenty minutes.

For the gravy:

This is slightly unconventional but it works and it takes all of the last minute stress away from a roast dinner.
You will need;
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp plain flour
3/4 bottle red wine
500ml beef stock
1/2 tsp garlic puree
2 tbsp cranberry or redcurrant sauce
1/2 tsp Dijon mustard

In a saucepan, cook the butter and flour gently and stir for about five minutes.
Now add the wine, a little at a time, allowing it to thicken as you go.
Add the garlic puree, cranberry sauce, mustard and beef stock.

Taste your gravy.
Depending on the acidity of the wine, you may wish to add a little sugar and extra butter to smooth it out.
If at this stage you would prefer a gravy that is more brown and thicker, add a few gravy granules, I won't tell anybody!
Let the gravy simmer really gently for the entire time your beef is in the oven.

After the joint has rested for a good half hour, snip the strings and lift it off the bone.  It will now be really easy to carve.
Add the resting juices to the gravy.
You can serve immediately or, box it up, cover with gravy and refrigerate or freeze it until you're ready to eat it!  All you will need to do is heat it gently on the hob and concentrate on making perfect Yorkshire puddings.
(Recipe already on this blog under Toad in the Hole).

Around the Grounds

The peacock butterfly emerges from hibernation from March onwards. Their caterpillars love to eat nettles so that's another reason to leave messy patches in your garden. July sees another flush of butterflies as the new generation bursts forth.

Male peacock butterflies will defend a territory throughout the summer - harassing any females that pass through.  Typical.








Pasta Bakettes

Making individual pasta bakes may seem like madness for a kids tea but there are advantages.  The kids like to have a topping of plastic sausage whereas I prefer crunchy breadcrumbs and Parmesan.
All you need is a tomato type sauce of your preference and some cooked pasta.
Leave the sauce thinner than normal.
Assemble in individual oven dishes and top with whatever suits the diners.
Bake at 190 degrees for about 15 minutes.

Funny of the Week

The return of The Unbelievable Truth

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01f5hp9/

The mid-life crisis

The 10k run was invented after a disco when a middle aged woman was trying to get home with a take-away before it got cold.  Luckily, the kebab shop was exactly 10k from her home.
That is why it is now traditional for ladies of a certain age to take up jogging.
If you are currently training for a sporting event, I salute you.
As an outlet for your mid-life crisis, jogging is a pretty good option.  It gives you a new perspective on what you can achieve with a little practice and it costs a lot less than an embarrassing sports car.  It also gives you a space in your week, away from everything else in your life - which is sometimes all you need. (That and knee supports).


Fish Fingers
Instead of adding to Captain Birdseye's already bulging pension fund, make your own for that all-over wholesome feeling.
It costs more and takes longer.

This recipe starts with a bacon sandwich.
Fry your bacon, eat your sandwich.
Now, in the frying pan of bacon juices, fry two slices of bread until golden and crispy.
Don't eat the bread!! Set aside to cool completely.

When you want to assemble your fish fingers, rip the fried bread in to a blender and blitz to breadcrumbs.  Do the same with a couple of ordinary slices of bread and combine the breadcrumbs evenly.

You will also need a dish of beaten egg, a dish of plain flour and some lovely pieces of white fish.  These are river cobbler but equally good and ethical are pollock, bass and plaice.

Dip the fish in the flour, then the egg and then coat in breadcrumbs and place on a lightly oiled baking tray.

When all the fish is done you can store the tray in the fridge until you are ready to cook.
Any left-over breadcrumbs can be frozen and used straight from the freezer.

Bake at 200 degrees for about 20 minutes, until golden.  You won't need to turn them.
Serve with lovely greens and new potatoes.




A Walk for the Weekend

The Skye Half Marathon. 13 and a bit miles, circular.

This is a special for some of my followers who will be on the Island over Easter.  Go and have a look at the route and decide whether it is too hilly or not:
Begin at Portree high school. The official route runs anti-clockwise but you are on holiday so you decide.

Marsco

If its hill-walking you fancy, check out the stunning peak of Marsco in the Red Hills.
After a steady walk, climb and then scramble to the top along the well-marked path, you can descend and stop for a cheeky half in the Sligachan Hotel.

Funny of the Week.

Unfortunately, I think these dudes may have found goddesses by now...

http://youtu.be/WvQ39Yem4Uc

Things to fry before you die

This week I have been mainly outside which is perfect for body and mind.  The spring has certainly sprung and it is impossible to stay indoors.  If you have limited time to spend in the garden, make sure you dig out those perennial weeds that are now emerging. Next month they will be broadcasting their seeds willy and indeed, nilly.  It is also a good time to divide and move large clumps of herbacious plants and rearrange your borders to your liking.

Lazy Weekend Blueberry Pancakes

5oz Self-raising flour
2oz caster sugar
1 egg
60ml milk
1tsp baking powder
Blueberries

Whisk the ingredients together, minus the blueberries, and leave the batter to sit for a little while.
Heat a frying pan and add a little sunflower oil and some butter.
Add the batter, about a tablespoon at a time.
As the bubbles start to break the surface, place a few blueberries into each pancake.
Flip and cook for a further minute or so - the blueberries will pop and go all jammy.
Serve with maple syrup.

So delicious.  If you have to share, make double quantities.


It's getting batter...

Deep fried food is the best.  That's a fact.

Potato fritters:

Flour and water batter
Thin slices of raw potato (about as thick as a pound coin)

Make the batter by whisking plain flour with enough water to make a thick and sticky mixture - its the same recipe for paper mache.  Thicker than yorkshire pudding batter but thinner than poly-filler.

Now heat a pan of oil until jumping hot - take care!
Dip the potato slices in the batter and then fry in the oil until crispy and golden brown all over. 
This will take about 5 minutes.  Serve on a kitchen towel with tomato ketchup.

This is a very versitle batter and can be used for main course and pudding alike-


Things to fry before you die:

      Slices of cored apple - serve with sugar
      Cooked chicken - serve with chilli dipping sauce    
      King prawns
      Bounty bars or Mars bars

      Ice cream wrapped in filo pastry - minus the batter
     

Funny of the week

A great episode of Just a Minute from Mumbai

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01dhn6y/