Vermin and Very Nice Shortbread

This week there is an intruder in my paradise. When I was clearing up in the evening I heard a very noisy mouse under my cooker. My initial thought was just to shut the kitchen door and run but I made myself remove the lower drawer and have a look. That cheeky rodent has been munching the insulation between the double oven.

Now, I have to confess that this is the second time that I have seen evidence of this furry burglar - the first time there were only teeth marks in my tea-lights under the sink and I decided to be all hippy about it. Mistake:

Now look at my non-hippy solution:

No more nocturnal nibbling for him.

Worrying mouse facts:
If you can fit a pencil in to a gap, a mouse can get through.
When you start to exterminate them, they instinctively increase their breeding.
Not all of them own holiday resorts.

 

Caramel Shortbread

There may be a bit a messing about for this recipe but it is truly delicious and these quantities make plenty for a week of treats with your coffee.

The Base.

200g plain flour

150g finely crushed digestives

150g butter

75g caster sugar

Mix the crushed digestives with the flour and rub in the butter.  Stir in the sugar and then press in to your baking trays. 

I use two tins, 7.5" x 8.5", lined with baking paper.

Bake at 160 degrees for 15 to 20 min until just golden at the edges.  Put aside to cool.

The caramel.

1 tin (397g) condensed milk

175g butter

175g caster sugar

4 tbsp golden syrup

Heat together in a pan until the butter has melted and the sugar dissolved and

then allow to bubble for about 10 minutes, stirring all the time. 

The mixture will darken and thicken slightly.

Pour on to the cooled shortbread.

The top

300g of nice chocolate

Buttons for decoration. (Optional)

Once the caramel has cooled and set, melt the chocolate and pour over the top.  Leave to rest in the fridge until completely hard and then slice in to small squares.  Luscious.

Around the Grounds

This is a great week for sowing sweet peas.  Soak the lovely round seeds over night and then sow in nice deep flowerpots and water thoroughly. They will be fine in an unheated greenhouse or cool porch.

Funny of the Week

Men need accessories too.

http://youtu.be/YBdymtyXt8Y

 

Roll on February. We can take it.

Fantastic.  
Just around the corner, and in places under the snow, lies spring and all of it's edifying sproutings. 
Before then, there is still plenty of time for comfort eating and watching the telly with a blanket on your knees.

If you are planning a romantic dinner for Valentine's Day, how about a delicious indian? 
Nothing says "I love you" like garlic breath.


Lamb Curry

Homemade curry paste
500g lamb neck fillets
A big handful of green beans
300ml tomato passata
1 tin of coconut milk
100g ground almonds


For the paste:

2 or 3 garlic cloves
Chillies - number to your taste
3 or 4 Shallots
About an inch of fresh root ginger
2 tsp coriander seeds
2 tsp fennel seeds
Toast the coriander and fennel seeds in a dry frying pan until a little browned and then grind up in a pestle and mortar. Add to the blender with the peeled garlic, ginger, shallots and the roughly chopped chillies and their seeds.  Use a glug of olive oil to loosen the mixture.

You can now put your lovely paste in to a jar and keep it for a couple of weeks in the fridge if you like.  It is good to do it a little ahead of time to let the flavours mingle.

In an oven-proof casserole, brown the sliced lamb in small batches and set aside.

Now fry the curry paste gently for about 10 minutes until cooked.
To the paste, add the lamb, passata and coconut milk and place a cartouche on the top - a piece of baking paper to protect the top.
Now bake in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees for an hour and a half.

After this time, add the green beans and the ground almonds.  Replace the cartouche and return to the oven for a further 20 minutes.


You can use any meat in this sauce - reduce the cooking time for chicken and prawns. Alternatively, use your favourite veggies. Cauliflower and squashes are good.

I am mad enough to have tried making my own naan breads and believe me, it's not worth it.  Unless you have one of those clay ovens, they just turn out like crispy pizza bases.  However, when ordering a take-away, get some extras and stash them in the freezer for later.  They warm up from frozen to be fluffy and delicious.  Best naan flavour? Peshwari of course.


Around the Grounds

My grounds are frozen solid!  Thick ice prevents any preparatory work in the garden so this week I have cast my eyes skywards and couldn't fail to notice this beauty:

The Earth's Moon is really quite remarkable.  Have you ever pondered the fantastic co-incidence that due to relative size and distance, the Sun and the Moon appear roughly the same size to us.  The Sun is roughly 400 times larger than the Moon and also, 400 times further away. This makes the total eclipse possible.  Astounding.
Unlike the surface of the Earth, the crust of the Moon is solid and not continually recycled.  This is why it bears the craters from meteorite strikes that have been happening since it's formation, approximately 4.6 billion years ago.


A walk for the Weekend

Keswick to Castlerigg Stone Circle.
4 miles, circular.

This is a stunning walk through farmland and along quiet roads. 
Now, you may find stone circles quite fascinating, and bear in mind that this one dates from 3000BC. 
It is dramatic and complete with a backdrop of Skiddaw and Blencathra.

However, if you are taking kids along, don't build up the destination too much or you may receive the review that my kids gave it;

"It's just a load of stones".

The quiet walk through the countryside should be reward enough.

Funny of the Week

Would you like to be Tom Cruise?

http://youtu.be/pA34Wd-aA4o

Birthdays are for grown-ups too.

Just because you can no longer find a badge with your loved-ones' age on, doesn't mean that you can't do something special for their birthday.  I know, it's easy to see the passage of time and addition of wrinkles as a cue for grumpiness on their part, but it should still be celebrated.

How about showing off your mussels for a birthday tea?


Spaghetti with Mussels.

A bag of fresh, live mussels
2 or 3 shallots
1 or 2 garlic cloves
A glass of white wine
A large splash of tomato and herb pasta sauce. (Homemade or otherwise).
Spaghetti or similar.

This is not scary to prepare and its very quick to cook.
The most important thing is to avoid food poisoning.  This is easy.
When you take your bag of mussels out of the fridge you will find that many of them are open.  This is not because they are dead but because they are out of water and it is a good thing.  It allows you to give them a brisk rinse under the tap to flush out any grit.  If they do not close as you rinse them, they are dead and you should discard those ones.  At this point, take a sharp knife and trim off the hairy bits.  You will now have a lovely bowl of clean, closed mussels ready for the pot.

In to a large pan of boiling water, plunge some pasta.








In a separate pan, fry a couple of finely sliced shallots and some garlic.



When these are softened, chuck in the mussels and a glass of white wine.
Put a lid on to steam the mussels.
When they open, add a large splash of your homemade tomato sauce.  (Or a shop-bought one).
Cook for a further couple of minutes with the lid on.

Serve on a heap of cooked spaghetti.
If any of the mussels have not opened in the pan, discard.

Of course you will need to produce a show stopping cake.

This is it:

Chocolate and Blueberry sponge

For three layers:

Happy Birthday Bob. x

7 eggs

Sugar

Butter

Self raising flour

50g Cocoa powder

But why have I not given the weights for the ingredients?  Well, this is my tip for all sponges.  Weigh the eggs first (minus shells!) and then match that weight with the rest of the ingredients.  For a chocolate sponge, leave out 50g of flour and replace with cocoa.

The other top tip is to make sure that all of the ingredients are at room temperature before you begin.

Cream the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy.

Add the sieved flour, cocoa and eggs all at the same time and beat in the mixture until well combined.

Divide between three loose bottomed tins and bake at 180 degrees for about 20 minutes.

Sandwich together with whipped cream and homemade blueberry sauce and fresh blueberries.

Note the lack of candles - best not to draw attention to it!

Frozen Assets

The logic here is un-deniable.  When you buy (or grow your own) whole chillies,  put them straight in to the freezer.  You can then slice them frozen without getting burnt by chili oil.  Of course you have to use the seeds but that is all to the good.

Funny of the Week

A little ranting from David Mitchell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=rTIIRMgzLSI

Elaborate side-Burns

Happy Burns Night.
For Scotsmen everywhere a chance to cut out a lot of messing about and just pour the whisky straight on to their food. 
Rabbie Burns is the unofficial nation poet of Scotland.  Hugely celebrated - possibly because the Scot's dialect makes his poems and songs almost impenetrable to the English.  I mean, Auld Lang Syne.  What is all that about? However, you can't deny that he made a remarkable legacy for himself having lived in harsh poverty for the majority of his life.
Hands up who likes haggis? I know.  It is delicious but its quite a hard one to sell to the kids. 
The veggie alternative makes a great stuffing, thus:

Sassenach Chicken

1 vegetarian haggis
1 chicken breast per person
4 rashers of streaky bacon per person


Really simple to do and really delicious and moist chicken.

Cut a deep slit in the chicken but not all the way through and fill with a generous amount of the veggie haggis - no need to pre-cook the haggis.
Now bring the chicken back together and wrap in the streaky bacon to hold it all in place.
Line up the sassenachs in a roasting dish and sprinkle with olive oil.
Cover with foil and cook in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees for 25 minutes.
Remove the foil and roast for a further 15 minutes to crisp up the bacon.

Serve with neaps and tatties.  (I combined these by doing a sweet potato and swede mash).

Really nice with cranberry sauce.

Around the Grounds

The Common Puffball
Solid, milky white and edible when young.
At this mature stage, spores are released through the hole in the top. 
The puffball relies on heavy rain falling on it to distribute the spores but I find that children's feet are much more effective.





A walk for the weekend.

Selkirk to Melrose.  10 Miles, linear.

Begin in the market place, noting the lovely statue of Sir Walter Scott - another legendary Scotsman.
The route takes you alongside the golf course and out across the fields on the Old Drove Road.  This section offers fantastic views of the Royal and Ancient Borough. You will then pass Caulshields Loch descend to the river and follow the riverside path all the way to Melrose.
For the full map visit:  http://www.scotborders.gov.uk/downloads/file/437/borders_abbeys_way_selkirk_to_melrose

Funny of the Week

That why I don't like cricket

http://youtu.be/Hlk6TIeN0U4

Self-catering Slobbery

When you're on holiday, you don't want to spend ages cooking.  Neither do you want to pay over the odds in the restaurants every night.  Therefore, here's one I made earlier.  What is the point of going away without a pie?  This one is mince and onion with a short-crust pastry case.
To give it that holiday feel, make gravy from instant granules and add a splash of red wine and a squirt of tomato ketchup.

On the side, boiled new potatoes, roasted in butter and olive oil while the pie heats up.






Around the Grounds

Now alright, this picture isn't exactly from around my grounds but it was taken this week, by me, so it counts.  Red squirrel facts:

They do not hibernate but store seeds and fungi in tree stumps and underground for the winter months.

75%  now live in Scotland

Their biggest threat is the grey squirrel.

They can't help you across the road.
Favourite cocktail: Peanut Colada

Frozen Assets

There is a lot of rubbish talked about scones.  Personally, I don't think it really matters if they get a little over-kneaded at the rolling out stage.  The best way of getting nice tall scones is to leave them thick when you cut them out.

They can now be frozen raw and cooked straight from the freezer whenever you need them.  They will take a couple of minutes longer but they will still rise and be nice and fluffy on the inside.

Funny of the Week

A triathalete meets a road bike racer

http://youtu.be/O8tIRm9nle8

I haven't decided what sport I'll be competing in yet - no sense in narrowing ones aspect prematurely. 
There will be a solo synchronised swimming event.  I may just do my rendition of Y.M.C.A with goggles on.
Anyway, all of us athletes will need plenty of sustenance:

Veggie Lasagne

And not the watery, squishy kind. This is robust and really tasty.

4 or 5 mixed peppers, quartered
Cherry tomatoes, halved
2 celery sticks, sliced
2 carrots, shaved

3 or 4 big mushrooms, sliced

A jar of tomato sauce

About a pint of cheesy sauce

Start by roasting some mixed peppers and cherry tomatoes with a generous sprinkling of olive oil and black pepper.  This will take about 45 minutes at 200 degrees.

While that's in the oven, fry some sliced celery until softened and then add some slices of lovely big mushrooms and some dried oregano.

 

Cook again until for a few minutes and then add a jar of your homemade tomato sauce (Or a jar from the supermarket).
Now add some carrot shavings - I do these with my potato peeler and they give a nice bit of texture.  Cook until just softened.
Now you can make a lovely cheesy sauce, in the usual way.  You'll need about a pint.

To assemble, start with a layer of the carroty sauce, then dry lasagne sheets, then cheese sauce and finally a layer of the scrumptious peppers and tomatoes and all their juices.
Fill in the gaps with the carroty sauce and continue with pasta, then cheese sauce, then peppers, red sauce, pasta and finally cheese sauce.  Top with some extra grated cheese.

Now, I used to spend ages snapping lasagne sheets and trying to make it all fit the dish. 
Now look at my devil-may-care attitude.  It really doesn't matter if there's a gap as the pasta expands in the oven anyway.


Frozen Assets

Cookies.

Here is the basic recipe: (makes about 25 biscuits)

8oz Sugar
8oz butter
13oz plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 egg

Cream the sugar and butter in a mixer until really soft.
Add the flour, baking powder and egg and mix gently until combined.
You now have the basic dough, to which you can add whatever you fancy.
I divided this batch in to two.
To the first I added currants and then shaped it in to a fat sausage. 
The dough is quite sticky so it benefits from being rolled in a dry ingredient.  I used oats.

To the second half of the batch I added chocolate chips and rolled it in flaked almonds.






These lovely sausages can now be wrapped in cling film and chilled in the fridge for half an hour before baking. 
Or, freeze for half a year if you like!
Slice in to cookies about 1cm thick and bake on ungreased trays at 180 degrees for about ten minutes.
If the dough has been frozen, allow to warm up for about 20 minutes before slicing.

Other things you could add:  chopped up chocolate bars of any kind, fudge bits, chopped cherries or nuts, cocoa powder, ginger...

Other things you could roll them in: chopped nuts, sesame seeds, drinking chocolate, dessicated coconut, crushed cornflakes...

Funny of the Week.

The power of a million candles.

http://youtu.be/Vt8aAy_8Ub4

In Praise of Dumplings

Hey everybody, here comes 2012!  The last one in's a sissy.
Imagine.  A whole new year stretching out in front of us. 
It is great to see this as a wonderful opportunity for change and new experience. 
Of course, any time can be seen this way but we feel a sense of new beginning with the simple act of putting a new calendar up on the wall.  This is quite a strange phenomenon since time is constant and steady and yet we like to parcel it up into sections.
Anyway, lets embrace our new parcel of time and see every day as an opportunity for change and experience. 
A wise man once told me that you can change everything about your life in a few months. 
If, like me, you only want to change a few small things, it shouldn't take too long. 
Good luck with those resolutions.



Dumplings

There are two types:
Floaters and sinkers.
The floating ones on top of this savoury mince are light
and fluffy in the middle and crunchy on the top.

The recipe calls for equal volumes of flour and suet - not equal weight.
For 10 dumplings:
6 des. spoons self-raising flour
6 des. spoons shredded suet
2 tsp mixed herbs
12 des spoons cold water

Stir up the dry ingredients, add the water and then combine with a fork.

Divide in to 10 rough balls and add to the top of a cooked and hot casserole,
stew or in this case, savoury mince.
Cook in a preheated oven at 180 degrees for about 20 minutes.




Incidentally, to make dumplings that sink for putting in clear soups, substitute the self-raising flour for plain.
This type is better in smaller, smoother rounds.




A Walk for the Weekend

Now that January is here, time to get out and burn a few calories, breathe some fresh air and stand in a few sheep droppings. 
How about here?

The Broadford Marble Line, Isle of Skye.
8 Miles. Circular.

This route that starts and ends at the Broadford Hotel. (Excellent for a cheeky pint).  From the hotel car park, take the road out of Broadford towards Torrin. After a short uphill section, take the signed path to the left that takes you down to a dis-used railway.  You can now follow the railway along the side of Strath Saurdal. (If you are feeling energetic, have a hike up the hill for a look at the brilliant view of the surrounding geology).

Across the road from Strath Saurdal is Kilchrist Kirk, and beyond that, the Broadford River.

Their is a riverside path that will lead you all the way back to Broadford. 

An afternoon very well spent.

Funny of the Week

Some of these look very painful but others are really good.

Perfectly timed photos.

http://youtu.be/bMP9TdrLywo